Old Fashioned Blueberry Crumb Muffins

The last 10 days have been non-stop, and the last three days have felt like one never-ending Monday. Oddly enough, I used to love Mondays, but that was a long time ago, in what feels like a faraway land. Virginia and I would curl up on the sofa, and dip toasty points of bread into sunny, orange hued poached egg yolks. And occasionally, I’d make these Old Fashioned Blueberry Crumb Muffins.

There’s something so soothing about baking up a batch of fresh muffins in the morning. It gives a feeling of accomplishment, creating something before I’ve even dressed for the day. Michael used to often say I accomplished more in the hours before he woke than he got done all day long. But that is neither here nor there since these days prying myself from bed takes more effort than I care to admit.

I’ve had Father’s Day on my mind for a few weeks now. I remembered the last one we spent with Michael, and the gift Virginia made him in her daycare. Isabella could patiently hold her school gifts until the day her teachers told her, but Virginia could never contain her excitement. She still walks in the door promptly, and says, “open this now, Mommy”.

On that last Father’s Day, they’d made construction paper ties decorated with Cheerios. She was still young enough that I used a stroller, and on the walk home she decided to snack on Michael’s gift. No joke. One by one, she plucked off the cereal, and ate each piece. I should’ve been more concerned, but by kid number two you let things like this slide since Elmer’s glue is labeled non-toxic (please do not shatter any disillusions here, what’s done is done).

When Mikey walked in that night, she ran to the door, jumped in his arms, and said “For you, Daddy. I got hungry.” He burst into laughter, and while everything about him lately feels so distant, and dreamlike, I can almost, ever so faintly hear him. He had the best laugh, infectious in a good way, the kind that dared you not to laugh along.

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