Tomorrow is your birthday.
The first February 7th without waking to your beautiful brown eyes. Gosh, how I miss your unibrow. Remember how I teased you incessantly about it early on, and then you finally let me tweeze it? That’s true love, I know that now.
…from the first birthday card you gave me in November 1999.
What I would give to feel the sharp clash of your toe nails against my ankles under the covers. Why is it you never took my advice on using a nail file to soften the edges? No matter now, right? I had this thought today while driving home from your mother’s house. Rather than be sad about your birthday, I want to celebrate it, be thankful, for if you’d never been born, then my life would have been less full, less worth living these last 16 years.
If you hadn’t been born, our daughters wouldn’t be here. They are my daily reminders of the love that blossomed.
Everyone has an end date. Your’s just came to soon. When I wake on Tuesday, I will celebrate your start date, the moment you came into the world, and was destined to change mine forever. This is what I would’ve written in your card:
becomes a gaze.
leads to a caress.
And with time,
like grows into love.
It is tested…
But it survives,
because all it takes is a glance
to remember how it all started.
-Jennifer Perillo, February 7, 2012
I hope you’re finding peace wherever you are honey. Your soul still seems restless to me. I know this reality is hard to accept, but try to do it any way. We will meet again, that is one thing I am most sure will happen. I just know it to be true. You may not be Mikey. I may not be Jennie. But we will have a moment, deja vu of sorts, where we feel as if we’ve known each other our whole lives. Go find peace, and do something special today my love. Happy birthday baby.