5:52 pm

Sundays will be hard—for a long time. Sundays were family day. They would start lazy, with Mikey letting me sleep in.

After an aperitif of cereal, the girls would squeal when I finally emerged from our bedroom. Soon the house would be filled with the aroma of French press coffee. Hot bacon would spatter and sizzle in the cast iron.

Last Sunday was supposed to be a dark, stormy day. The brightly shining sun was a surprise, and it meant Mikey got to play one last game of paddle ball with a good friend.

It meant he got to help Isabella ride her bike one last time.

It meant we were not home when he died.

I’ve never been so grateful for a sunny day. Had it been raining, we would’ve in all likelihood been home when his heart stopped beating, getting ready for dinner.

Tonight I will summon all my strength to be thankful at 5:52pm. I will cherish the 16 years we had together. I will hold my girls, our girls, a bit closer. I will survive this because Mikey would expect nothing less from me.

204 Comments

  • Jessica

    Oh Jen… I have no other words but to tell you that we’re all here with our arms around you, sending you all love, all that I’ve got.

  • JulieD

    I don’t know what else to say but that I am in a puddle of tears. We continue to send you love & positive thoughts. I admire you & so many people love you so much!

  • domenicacooks

    I am in awe of your strength and courage as you face this, Jennie. God bless you and and the girls and Mikey. I will be thinking of you all as I hug my family at 5:52. And I will make sure that my 14-year-old son, who these days would probably prefer to hug a pile of dirty socks than his mother, hugs me back.

  • Courtney

    You’re post is so amazing. Mikey is looking down smiling at you and your girls and holding you in his arms. You are such a strong woman. God bless!

  • Rose D., NJ USA

    I’m sending prayers and hugs across the miles. May God bless you and your family today and always.

  • mjskit

    Jennie – I will definitely hug someone I love today at 5:52 and please, consider yourself being hugs by many of us – now and at that time. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  • Arothenfeld

    Many hugs to you and your children.Your loving husband is always with you and I know it sounds cliche but someday it does get a little better.
    I lost my mom suddenly to a heart attack when I was 18 and I still remember the night and the 36 hours after it happened. IT has been 29 years. Many tears will be shed and smiles too when you think about him. Let his memory live on for you and your children and again many hugs to your family.

  • Lyn

    I am so, so sorry for your loss. When I saw how many people made peanut butter pies, it made me cry. I don’t usually bake or made sweets anymore, but I think my family needs a peanut butter pie too. Thank you. Prayers for you and your girls.

  • Kelly S

    You and your girls will be in my thoughts. Praying for strength and peace to help you through this.

  • Rachel ~ Babyfro

    You and your family have been heavily in my thoughts this last week. You’re inspiring so many as you not only take this in stride but are showing us just what a fabulous person you are, giving hope to others in your time of need.
    I’m so glad I got to meet you at BSP2 and it warms my heart that the community is there for you. Much love and thank you so much for sharing Mikey with the world. 5:52 pm will be 8 second hugs in my home this evening.

  • Melissa Chapman

    All I know is this– EVERYTIME i spoke to you- and you would mention your husband Mikey- your eyes would light up, your lips would curve in a smile- and I could feel the love and passion you had for your husband- you doted on him, you cared for him , you cooked for him and you loved him with such abandon- anyone who knows you- knows that and the time you spent together- he knew it too

  • Issa

    At 5:52 today I will take the time to be thankful that you were so deeply loved, because you are so deserving of having been loved so well. I used to think that I was the strongest woman I knew – you, Love, have superseded that strength by unimaginable depths. I love you.

  • linda

    a “virtual” community of foodies have written about their friendships with you, your inner strength, how kind, loving & considerate mikey was…how you helped friends (as well as acquaintances) & family…i have read numerous posts & i am in awe of you.
    your generosity of spirit, your selflessness, your courage… remarkable…you are amazing jennifer. this post touches another emotional chord. your daughters are blessed to have such a wonderful & loving mother & a fantastic role model.

  • nina c

    i dont know how i got here, but i am so very sorry for your loss. i cry at my computer right now and although i dont know u….i thank u and i will go hug my husband now and have a better more grateful day.

  • Mastermindmommy

    My heart continues to break for you and your girls. I’m going to make a peanut butter pie THIS friday for my family (cause I’m a little slow on the uptake)… I’m so very sorry for your loss and I will keep praying for strength for you and yours.

  • A. C. Parker

    Jennie, I’m looking out my window, which faces NYC’s East River, so I know I’m turned toward Brooklyn. My son’s in the other room, playing by himself, but I’m about to call him in for a hug. I’ll be thinking of you and all you’re facing–without Mikey next to you, but nevertheless not apart from him. And certainly not alone. Your girls, and a huge community of supporters, myself included. xo ~Allison

  • Peggy Lee

    You say things in a way that makes me feel like I know you. Or at least what kind of person you are. You are a testament, honestly, to tenacity and grace under fire. We are sending hugs and love and so much good karma to you and your girls. Your Mikey’s memory will be kept alive at our house with our newest traditional pie that will always be made, every time, in his honor and yours.

  • Kerry

    Life is not supposed to be like this — know that a stranger in Portland, Ore. is crying for you and your family after seeing your story on cnn.com and reading your recent posts. Will send you strength at 5:52PST.

  • patsy

    Jennie – I’ll be hugging my family tight at 5:52 as well. You are so strong for sharing so much during this past week. I just keep thinking of you and your girls and how lucky they are to have such a strong mom to help them through this. (((hugs)))

  • Krista

    This just brings tears to my eyes. One can only hope to find the kind of love you two so obviously shared from the way you talk about him. Thinking about you, and your family today.

  • Winnie

    Oh, Jennie. You’ve always inspired me. Always. Want you to know that…and right now you are inspiring me and so many others more than ever. I am so so sorry for your loss. I am thinking of you all the time, but will be doing so especially at 5:52.

  • Tina

    I appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing your life with us. Hugs to you and your girls in memory of Mikey.

  • christina

    Love to you and the girls. You will survive this for yourself, for your girls, for Mikey. I will be thinking of you at 5:52 and say a prayer for your continued strength.

  • RJFlamingo

    I think you will be able to feel hundreds of arms around you in a great communal hug at 5:52, Jennie. One day, when you aren’t feeling quite so strong and brave, remember that feeling and that so many of us are here for you. xox

  • MidwoodMom

    Peace and love and light. Your strength is incredible and your family’s story has touched me so. Love, all of us in 11210

  • Mignonne

    I’am so so sorry for your lose. There are no words to say. I feel your pain. I wish you a lot off strength. Lots of love and hugs.

  • Heather

    We’ve never met, but even I can tell how wonderful Mikey was, just by reading the sweet words on your blog. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I wish you peace.

  • Kristin

    Today I made your Creamy Peanut Butter Pie, and tomorrow I will serve it to my family as dessert. I’ve never made a pie in my life, but I wanted to honor your love for Mikey and your family by sharing this pie with mine.
    Thank you for reminding me to take time to show love with gestures and actions rather than lip service.

  • Porche

    I’d never read your blog or knew your name before this week, but I follow many of your blogging friends so I knew immediately that something very sad had happened to someone they love. It’s truly an amazing community.
    Though I’d never known of you or Mikey before, the depth and magic of your love story is palpable. I’m so sorry for your loss. I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and your girls. I know I’m one of thousands, but I think it’s important to let you know.

  • Lisa { AuthenticSuburbanGourmet }

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. I admire your strength and may God continue to give you the courage that you have. I am positive that Mikey is with you and watching over you. I have yet to make the peanut butter pie, but it is on my list to make. You are in inspiration and your kids are so fortunate to have a great Mom like yourself.

  • Jennifer Neal

    Have a potty mouth, cry, kick and scream, we all understand. I can not imagine what you are going through, I do know my heart hurts for you. I am praying for you and your girls.

  • Michelle Torres

    I continue to hold you and your Beautiful girls up in prayer…. I made the peanut butter pie last night after I first heard the sad news of your Dear husband, and today in honor of him, me and my family celebrated my father’s 66th birthday, and we ate the pie that Mikey loved, and we realized through this that we do indeed need to love each other and spend more time together like there there is no tomorrow, because we none ever know when we could be going through this same kind of day like you are…. Our prayers and thoughts are with you and know that you are not alone….
    From NC
    Michelle Torres
    decorater4life@aol.com

  • Kendra P

    This is my first time visiting your blog… and I’ve cried bitterly for you today. I am so incredibly sorry that you are in this moment. I pray that you find strength and comfort knowing that you will be with your beloved again one day. Your girls are so blessed to have such a strong woman to keep them on level ground.

  • connie

    Sending you hugs and thank you for reminding me to savor every moment. Your husband must have been amazing. I’m so sorry I didn’t get to know him but thank you for sharing him.
    Connie

  • Laurie

    I am so sorry for your loss. I am so amazed by your strength of words. I found your blog through your tragedy because so many bloggers are mentioning this horrible loss. My heart hurts for you.
    Thanks for putting it out there.

  • Terry

    What a beautiful man. Who lives in your heart and through your girls.
    Hugs to all of you as you experience these passages. You are an amazing woman.

  • Belinda @zomppa

    I just read about Mikey and his love for peanut butter pies. My condolences to you and your family – the love you had for one another is so palpable. Blessings.

  • Amy

    So sorry for your loss. Thinking about your family at this time. It was so touching seeing all the peanut butter pies that were made for Mikey and your family this weekend. I plan to make one sometime this week as a reminder again to love our family and friends now when we have the chance.

  • Melissa@IWasBornToCook

    I’m so glad to hear you are staying strong, not only for your girls but for Mikey. You are an amazing woman. Tonight, I made my husband’s favorite dessert in honor of Mikey (since he doesn’t like peanut butter) and I will be blogging it this week. Thank you for reminding me to appreciate more those that we love. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  • Souffle Bombay (Colleen)

    My heart aches for you and your children. I am so very sorry for your loss, I am going now to hug my husband and kids real tight knowing that every moment we do have together is a gift and something I am very thankful for. I hope you will all be ok.

  • Kathy McCormack

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I will continue to keep you in my heart.

  • Claire

    Jennie,
    I discovered your blog by reading another blog today. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. While reading your few beginning posts I realized that I have had a similar situation in my life. My name is Claire and my husband passed in December 2008. At the time my children were 8, 6, 2,.. 2 boys and 1 girl. It was a sudden loss out of the blue. I also struggle with summers and Sundays. Caleb was a high school teacher and an amazing husband and father. I have made it almost 3 years without him. There are many days that I can’t believe I’ve made it another second. You seem like such an amazing person from what I’ve read~ If you would like to read a little more about my story, I also have a blog that shares a little about him and our life together. http://www.bessielou.wordpress.com Take Care~

  • Kathygori

    Jennie…I don’t know you, but I do know that we will be thinking of you and your family this evening at 5:52 and having one last piece of peanut butter pie.

  • Sarah

    You are in our prayers today and will be for a long time to come. I also have 2 young girls and I cannot imagine your pain. Thank you for helping me to not take them or my wonderful husband for granted.

  • Jennifer

    Though I can’t fathom your pain, I have a man I love and 4 children. You will always be in my thoughts.

  • Jessanna Jones

    Jenny, I don’t know you or your family, and being a wife and mother, I can only imagine the utter grief and loss that has swept over your life- your in my thoughts and prayers, may God send angels of help to you and pour out His mercy and grace- your amazing and I’m glad I stumbled upon your blog..even in such dark times. May God wrap you in His warm embrace and be your eternal comforter. There really are no words… Hugs- from a stranger

  • Stephanie Holland

    I discovered your blog on Friday and you and your daughters have been with me all weekend. I lost my mom on 9/11-she was on the first plane. Your ability to share so soon afterwards is a gift, and the love you write with is so real. I know too well what it is like to lose someone so suddenly and so tragically. For so long every 8:46 on a Tuesday morning was so difficult. And then one day it hurts less. There is no magic cure, it happens when you’re ready. I plan on making peanut butter pie this Friday to welcome home my son who has been at sleep away camp for a month. Thank you for sharing and please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • jackie d

    Bless you, I posted on my blog today about taking the time to do the right thing and taking the time to tell the ones close to you that you love them. Sundays are the day for me and my husband of 22 years, I cannot imagine a sunday nap without him, it is our day for love and cuddles and kisses. How could I survive a sunday without him?? I am not sure I could. Thank you for being so strong for those of us that are so weak.

  • Danielle

    Jennie, I’ve been thinking of you and your girls all weekend. I’m not even sure what to say, but know that you are thought of. I wish I could help, but of course you don’t know me! So I’ll just hug my family really hard tonight.

  • Kim

    I heard about your loss through TidyMom, who re-posted your peanut butter pie tribute. My heart aches for you. I cannot begin to imagine your pain and will be praying for you.

  • Jen VG

    I came to your blog via a mention on Tasty Kitchen. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. My heart is breaking for you and I will pray that you and your girls can find the strength and love you will need to get through.

  • Kirsten

    I wish I had words of wisdom for you and your family, but I have strong arms and a big heart for all of you. Peace to you now and in the days to come.

  • Toni Rands

    I am profoundly sorry for you & your family. I am praying for you & pulling for your Sunshine. God Bless you..I lost my Rodney (sudden heart attack at home) on Oct 16th,2005 in the same exact way. We were married 5 yrs and we were deliriously happy. He was my Sun, and he was now forever gone.I thought I would never smile, be safe & warm again..
    I am telling you this to let you know you are not alone, and that the burning emptiness goes away. I am now smiling, cooking with JOY and under the Sweet, soothing Moonlight of my new husband Nicholas…It took time, but joy came back.And I still feel the warmth of that Sunshine every time I make HIS dishes .

  • Colleen

    My son had his slice of the pie we made Friday, and asked if every day could be peanut butter pie day. So many warm thoughts sent your way.

  • Julie

    I found your blog through one of the many peanut butter pie links. I have been moved to tears by your loss and by the incredible strength you are displaying in the face of such tragedy. I know I don’t know you at all, but please know that the thoughts and prayers and best wishes of many strangers are with you right now.

  • Emme @Food Samba

    Jennifer,
    I know you’ve heard this hundreds of times by now but, I’m deeply sorry for your loss. I couldn’t imagine your pain at this time. But, you strength is so inspiring and admirable. Saying a prayer for you and your girls tonight. xoxo
    Emme

  • dianne wist

    Jennie-I don’t know you but I feel you.
    This is my first post and certainly one that will stay with me.
    May you and your girls feel the support of the earth that brings the food to your hands and the stars that surround your hearts.
    I am sorry for your loss.

  • Trish Fredrickson

    Dear Jennifer – We have never met. I don’t even follow your blog. I would now, but it feels a little creepy. later..
    Thank you for sharing your times – brightest and darkest. I made a peanut butter pie. My teens were suspicious. I told them your story. We all cried.
    My husband has been crazy busy with work. For the past couple of years. Working hard to provide for his family. It’s how he was raised. A little “Cat’s in the Cradle”.
    I have been a little pissed of about the situation. He has been working in Australia for two weeks. Again – I’m a little cranky.
    When he returns I will be making him chocolate frosted rice crispy treats. Dave’s favorite. I will sincerely apologize for my attitude. My husband is a gift from God for which I should delight in – as you and your love for Mikey.
    Thank you for being able to share the good and bad with the world. Please know that many are praying for you and your children.

  • Caitlin

    I just found your blog for the first time, but this post really resonated with me – my dad passed away suddenly from a heart attack when I was 18 (he was 54), leaving my mom as a widow. It was also a Sunday. It’s been 6 years, and things get better, but sometimes it is still unbelievably hard. I’m so sorry. Hang in there.

  • Sheila

    I don’t know you…probably never will meet you and yet I have to write something. Maybe it was watching the last dance…or the ring around your neck…or just that a love so right should have grown old together. Thank you for sharing your grief…through it and a peanutbutter pie I reset my perspective to what you always found as important…family and friends.

  • Angi

    Although we have never met I wanted to tell you that you are in my thoughts. I have found your blog to be wonderful and enjoyed hearing about your family and the Love you all shared was apparent. Be well. I know it is hard to lose your husband and wonder how you are going to go on…it will get better…one day at a time. I know that that sounds cliche, but it is also true.

  • Natalia

    I don’t know you and you don’t know me. We are far away from each other and I had never heard from you until two or three days ago that I came across your post for Mikey. I’m amazed at how many people have made peanut butter pies for both of you. I just saw a video the guys from white on rice couple made for you and it made me cry. Now I read your 5:52 post and it made me cry even more. More than amazed, I’m inspired by you. You lost someone you love but you are surrounded by people who love you. That is a good enough reason to go on. I am sorry for your loss but I hope it all goes well. I send lots of strenght and love from this side of the world. =)

  • S

    Jennie, first time on your blog – I’m so sorry for your loss. You found the time to do an important post and share it with us in the midst of your grief. I’m off to hug my spouse who’s slaving away over something in the tiny, hot kitchen that we have, without asking me for much help – thank you.

  • Love2cook

    I hopped in through Quay Po’s blog. I feel really sorry for the loss of your beloved Mikey. But amazed with your strength to overcome the loss. You are a great inspiration. And yes, I always tell my family “there’s no tomorrow…let’s cherish our togetherness now, at this moment”
    Hugs and kisses to you and your girls, take care.

  • Blog is the New Black

    Jennie,
    I had never read your blog until I saw the posts, tweets, etc. about your husband’s passing, and of course the outpouring of support as the blogging community banded together and made pb pies in honor of you, your late husband, your family, and his memory. There aren’t words to convey my sadness for your loss, but I wanted to let you know your request that we all take the time to stop and appreciate what we’ve got while we’re here touch me deeply.
    You are in my thoughts.

  • Leah

    I am so sorry for your loss. Words can’t describe or console what you are going through so instead I will say a prayer for you – it may not mean much from a perfect stranger, but I am thinking of you ♥

  • Jennifer Michie

    You just hold on to that strength and your faith and that will continue to see you through. You are all blessed for having known love like that! You and your family continue to be in our daily prayers. Sending you many warm wishes across the pond, Jennifer x

  • Jenn Price

    I am a new follower of your site. My heart goes out to you and your girls. I can see your strength in your words. I can see you are AMAZING!! Thank you for your beautiful words!

  • Carolyn

    Even though I’ve never met you, you’ve been in my thoughts constantly since last week. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re going through and how difficult the days, months and years ahead will be. You’ll continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Alicia Sokol - Weekly Greens

    Jennie, your strength and grace astound me. Last night at about 5:52, I was slowly savoring just a few more bites of peanut butter pie and thinking of your family. You will indeed persevere. Peace and love to you and your girls.

  • Jamie (Mama.Mommy.Mom)

    My heart hurts for you and your girls. I can’t imagine the pain and heartbreak you’re feeling every moment of every day. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and hope that one day your heart will hurt a little less.

  • dawn

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of mikey. Looking forward is gonna be the hardest thing for you and your family to do after something like this happens. Grieve and take as much time as you need. God bless you and your family.

  • Patty

    I’ve just been introduced to you through 3 Many Cooks posting and my heart breaks for you, your daughters,and Mikey. His memory will be your strength and the girls will be your inspiration to continue and live life to its fullest – for them. You will play one last dance countless times and not understand why he was taken from her. You will be in a fog for awhile, and maybe not even fully realize, until it passes. And you will realize that for awhile you were on auto pilot. It helps you survive. One of the most challenging things will be to get him to a place in your life where the memories & heartbreak of the loss don’t shut you down, but the memories of the love and life you shared, give you strength. And you will continue “cracking on those dreams because there is no guarantee of tomorrow.”
    Been there…………. You are in my prayers.

  • Jennifer

    I was directed to you from Bakerella’s Peanut Butter Pie email she sent out. I’m so moved by what you are going through and I want you to know that, even though nothing I can say will help you heal, I am so sorry that you and your girls are going through this. I will be hugging my family a little tighter tonight.
    Much love from Mobile, Alabama.
    Jennifer

  • Monica

    You are amazing. You are changing lives with your courage shown in words. You made me stop and praise God for my family when I heard about your husband passing away. I was thinking about baking a cake for them and when I heard about your pie for Mikey, I knew that there was no time to wait to bake them that cake. So I baked it and we enjoyed it as a family. But I will make the peanut butter pie soon. And we will pray for you your husband, for you and for your family. I plan on following you via your blog and I will check in on you every day. God bless you. 🙂

  • Marcia Zeballos

    I have a friend who just lost her husband two weeks ago. She, too, is a strong, brave woman. 3 small children are by her side but she has never felt more alone. My heart aches for her, and although I do not know you…my heart aches for you too. I can’t imagine being in your shoes. I know God gives us only what he knows we can handle…and you will be “fine”…but it’s the struggle that is the worst. You have a lot of people, when you share your thoughts in this blog, to turn to when you feel overwhelmed. Don’t forget to do so. We are all here, regardless if we know you personally or not. Lots of love and prayers to you and your children. May your husband rest in peace.
    ~a “friend” from PA

  • Kim in MD

    Jennie- My heart breaks for you, and I am weeping as I type this.I stumbled upon your blog on Saturday (linked from Miss In The Kitchen). You and your family were in my thoughts and prayers all weekend, but especially yesterday. It was stormy here, and our power went off early in the morning and was off all day and night. Normally, I would have been stomping around wondering when the power was going to come back on. Thinking of you and the loss of your beautiful husband, I instead spent the quiet day (no tv, video games or computers) playing chess and board games with my children and my husband. I cherished every moment of the day, thanks to your beautiful heartfelt post on Friday. For that I thank you and want you to know that you have touched my life in a way that words can not express. With the power restored this morning, I wanted to visit your blog to let you know that I am still thinking of you, and that I will continue to keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Joy

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I came to your blog where I was linked via the other food blogs dedicating their peanut butter pies to Mike. You are extremely strong and your daughters will be so thankful and proud to have a mom like you.

  • Debbie

    Also a new follower of your blog as the result of seeing the “Last Dance” post. My heart aches for you and your girls, and I know a chasm has been left in your world by his abrupt departure. Love never dies–and I am certain his love will forever surround “his girls”.

  • Caneel

    You and your girls, and extended family, remain in my thoughts and prayers. Your posts and tweets show so much courage and strength, it amazes me. Your daughters are so blessed to have you.

  • lisa

    Jennie,
    I don’t know you, but my heart goes out to you and your girls.
    I came upon your blog b/c of another food blog, Love & Olive Oil. I am now a subscriber to your blog.
    Stay strong.

  • Mona

    Still thinking about you, your girls and Mikey ….. how you loved him so!! Sending you strength.

  • Lana

    I am admiring your strength, but I knew that you would stay strong and be an inspiration to all of us. I will be thinking of you and your girls for many Sundays to come. Sending you a big hug from across the ocean!

  • alexa @ cleveland's a plum

    my father passed away very suddenly when i was 9.
    if it was not for my mother being strong and raising my sister and i as well as she had, hiding us from her tears, her stresses, her difficulties we would not be the strong smart women we are today.
    hug your girls, be the amazing mom you are and life will move forward as it has to.
    you and your family are in my thoughts.

  • Vanessa Griffith

    I am not sure how I came across your blog, but I am so thankfull that I did. Am I to understand that your husband passed away just a week ago? And that you can compose yourself enough to put down such amazing words, well, beyond belief. My husband and I are going through a really terrible time right now and he’s often working out of the country for many months at a time. I read your posts and it gives me the encouragement to put forth the effort to find our love again, for my 3 sons and for myself. I am so sorry for your loss… Please know that you have many, many angels looking in on you and your family. God Bless You!!

  • Debbie

    Jennie- I just started reading your blog and love your recipes. My heart is heavy for your loss. My parents were only married 13 years when my dad suddenly died of a heart attack and leaving behind 3 girls ages 11,6,and 5. I can feel your loss and the loss of your children’s father. May God hold you and your family in his arms until you are once again united with Mikey in Heaven. You are in my prayers.

  • vanillasugarblog

    you are so very strong
    you are so very brave
    the strength you have to have written this inspires me to be a stronger person
    every since last week, because of you and your family, i am much more of a grateful person
    and am doing my best not to let little things upset me
    you have taught me to enjoy today…now
    thank you
    (and if you ever do come to the cape, you are always welcome in my home)

  • Bevi

    Jennie,
    Although we have never met, I know you through food52 and your marvelous recipes. As I have discovered more and more virtual knowledge about you, your family, and your passion for food, your love of life and the people in it is clear.
    It is also clear that everyone who knows you, loves you. Peace to you and your loved ones.
    Bevi

  • Jacqueline

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss! We will definitely make a peanut butter pie and think of you when the sun shines. My prayers are with you.

  • Elizabeth Sherman

    I think you are amazing and an inspiration. Thank you for your strength and wisdom despite the immense pain you must be in. Know we are all here, supporting you in our invisible way–sending love and healing and peace.

  • jasmine awad

    my father passed away on sunday father’s day 2010. my most favorite person ever. on a sunday, at 5:39 pm. sundays are now hard for me, too. but reading this, and reading the influx of messages on twitter, and the pies on tastespotting. love is pouring to you and your family from everywhere. you are in all of our hearts and thoughts. i don’t know you, but i love you. <3

  • patti morfeld

    Can’t tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. I lost my 1st husband at 31 and was left with small children, millions of unawnswered questions and dreams for our lives together. It’s important that you allow yourself time to grieve and time to cry, soaking in moments when you need to and forcing yourself to get up and get on with it when you need to do that…praying for you all, patti

  • Valerie

    My most sincere sympathy to you and your family..you were so very lucky to have had each other’s love….God Bless you all, your friend Valerie, up in southern MB.

  • Gloria

    I could not imagine what you are going through! What strength you have! My assumption is that you are finding your strength through the memory and love of your husband! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your girls! Thank you so much for sharing your story and video of his last dance with us all, it’s an inspiration to all of us wives and mothers that out of something bad, there is good, the girls the two of you made with love. Your husband will live in them forever! I’m so sorry for your pain and loss!

  • Amanda

    Hi Jennifer, you don’t know me, but I follow your blog and I just want you to know that even strangers are thinking and praying for you.
    Experiencing the loss of a loved one is always hard, but remember, you’re not alone – and you will meet Mikey again.
    And don’t forget this either: “God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” – Revelation 21:4
    We live but short lives compared to what we gain – and then, you will meet with Mikey again in a place far greater than the world we live in now. Don’t forget that. Be strong – already you are setting an example for many men and women who know you, or visit your blog.
    Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
    Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
    For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow,
    Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
    From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
    Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
    And soonest our best men with thee do go,
    Rest of their bones, and soul’s delivery.
    Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
    And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell;
    And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well
    And better than thy stroke; why swell’st thou then?
    One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
    And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.
    Love from your sister in Christ,
    Amanda

  • Valerie

    I don’t know you, i met you thanks to Roxana, she wrote something about you. I know how those times are hard, but we have to hang in there, we have to be strong… i’m really bad when those things happen, i never know what to say, but i send you all my love…

  • Patty

    New to the blogger world and amazed by your site but most of all your strength during the worst of times. I am sending good vibes from only a few states away.

  • Yvette ~ Muy Bueno Cookbook

    Dear Jennie, I just saw the video tribute on WORC and heard the news. All I can say is that my prayers are with you and your and your family. I was so touched by your photo and your story – it brought tears to my eyes. I am in awe of your strength and perseverance. May we ALL never take life and our loved ones for granted. My husband has been asking for a Key Lime Pie and I keep putting his request on hold, but because of your story I plan to make one for him VERY soon. God bless you all!

  • Barefeet In The Kitchen

    I have spent the past several days praying for you and your girls each time I thought of your family. Your girls are so very blessed to have you and so was Mikey. Your love for him shines through in every word your write.

  • Duby

    I am new to your blog – and i only found it because EVERY SINGLE food blogger that i follow had the EXACT same post this past Friday: Peanut Butter Pie. I had to read more about this woman Jennie and her dear husband Mikey….
    i am very moved by your story and even more touched by the amount of support you have from the blog world. Every time i saw another post about Peanut Butter pie, i got teary eyed.
    Sending hugs and love –

  • Honey, Honey @ What's Cooking

    Your post brought tears to my eyes. You are such an inspiration. Although I can’t imagine your pain, I do believe you will get thru it somehow. I don’t believe time heals wounds, but it will subside. i’m so so sorry for your loss! The blogger community is with you.

  • Wendy

    I just found your blog from another one that I visit. My heart is aching for you now as I read your posts with tears in my eyes. I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel, but I would feel is empty and heartbroken. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
    Wendy
    Around My Family Table

  • amiee

    jennie, i am so sorry for you loss. i made the pie and my whole huge family all ate bites and when i told them the why of it, they also sent their love and support and strength your way. we finished it last night and the whole weekend i thought of you, a stranger but not, a person of such strength and beauty and grace …
    thank you for asking us to make the pies, for giving us a way, so small but so physical and real, to send you love.

  • Grandmother

    I am so sorry for your loss, I know how you feel. Unfortunately, you will feel this way for longer than you want, but you will heal and you will go on to shine ever brighter.

  • Laura

    You don’t know me, but I’ve followed your blog. I’ve enjoyed your posts and recipes, stories of your family. I am so unbelievably saddened to hear about the loss of your husband. It brings tears to my eyes, even writing this now. The strength you are showing is remarkable. Both you and your children have an angel now.

  • Penny

    I believe all of us who have read this post will be extra thankful for the minutes we have with our loved ones. We all know in our head that this life can end in a moment, without notice … but in our hearts we never expect it to hit so close to home. God bless …

  • Sandy

    You graciously shared with friends (and your new friends) a deeply moving event in your family’s life. Your love and generous thoughts will help us all remember what is important each and every day. Thank you.

  • Old Doug in BC Canada

    Jennie, Marie and I have been together since 1947, married since 1949. We are both sad that
    you and your Mikey had such a short time together. We both are living on borrowed time,
    and are so very appreciative of that fact. Our deepest feelings go out to you and your girls.
    Doug and Marie Irvine 85, and 81 and still in love

  • Emily

    I lost the love of my life 6 weeks ago, he died very suddenly as well. Your Mikey is with you and always will be. Take comfort in your beautiful children and think about how lucky you are to have had him with you for 16 years. You are in my thoughts, may peace fill your heart. With love, Emily.

  • doe mora

    i am so sorry for your loss- my heart aches for you and your girls. initially i could not figure out why PB was THE food, then i read another favorite blog. kathy’s vegan PB cookies coming up and i will mix in my wishes for pain easing with time while the momories grow brighter for you.

  • Jody Gates

    Just wanted you to know I am still praying for you and your family. I made a pie for my husband on Saturday 8-13 although not peanut butter, he loves pecan!

  • Kai Harper

    Jennie I am a chef, I own a small bistro in Northern New Mexico.
    Yours was the first food blog I ever subscribed to and I always enjoy opening it up and reading it.
    When I read Mikey died I was so shocked.
    We just expect our ordinary lives to go forward and when change of this nature comes we realize how little control we actually have. Everyone is congratulating you on holding it together, I just want to say that it is totally o.k. to fall apart. You can come back together after you have experienced this incredibly difficult loss.

  • Marina

    I’m so sorry for your loss, and so inspired by your positive attitude.
    Love and Peace from my home to yours.

  • Linda

    I don’t know you and I didn’t follow your blog but I got here after seeing WindyCityVegan’s post about PB pie. I just wanted to let you know how very sorry I am for your loss. I am at work, wiping tears off my keyboard. Just wanted to let you know that there’s this random stranger out there, thinking of you and wishing you all the strength in the world to get through this.
    No man is an island,
    Entire of itself.
    Each is a piece of the continent,
    A part of the main.
    If a clod be washed away by the sea,
    Europe is the less.
    As well as if a promontory were.
    As well as if a manner of thine own
    Or of thine friend’s were.
    Each man’s death diminishes me,
    For I am involved in mankind.
    Therefore, send not to know
    For whom the bell tolls,
    It tolls for thee.
    John Donne

  • Corrine Heijkant

    Dear Jennie,
    I have just read a Dutch blog, which referred to your husbands favorite pie. Then I read that you lost your husband. Although we never met and we do not know each other, my heart goes out to you, your children and your family. My sincere condolences.
    Kind regards,
    Corrine

  • Natalie

    I cannot even begin to fathom the way your heart feels right now. I have only been married a year, but there are many times I think, “there is no greater love than this.” The only words of comfort I can think of are that there is a greater love and I will be praying for you and your family. I pray that the Lord will wrap his arms around you and comfort you and your children. I pray that you would find strength in the comfort of his wings. God Bless.

  • Carrie

    Jennie, I feel for you and the loss of your husband. My dad died unexpectantly nine years ago in my own home. I was only eleven years old, but 8:02pm will forever mean something to me on that fateful day in September. Thank you for sharing this post with us…each day will get a little easier, and I’ll be praying for you: strength for each day foward.

  • Roni

    It’s another bone tired day, busy day at work, hectic commute, no dinner ready for the family, the basement is flooded again, the cat needs to be fed, the laundry’s not done, we’re stressed out from the bills, worried about major career changes, the house is a complete wreck and company’s coming over soon, and the kids need bathing.
    Then I found your link through your peanut butter pie recipe and your story has made me stop. . . instantly freeze in and wonder if any of it is really, truly important.
    The video of your husband dancing with your daughter is a similar occurrence in my home. My husband dances our five year old daughter around the room and she begs him to do it again and again.
    I don’t know you or your children but my heart aches for you. Please know we are consciously grateful for the present moment because of your story. Although there are no words to fix this and no amount of condolences that will make it go back to the way it was…but
    I am so sorry for your unfortunate loss.

  • Elise

    I had never seen your blog until the peanut butter pie post. But your story has touched me deeply, because it is so similar to mine. I lost my father suddenly when i was 16 and my mother when i was 22. While you will have to find a new idea of what normal is, know that your strength will carry your daughters through this, just like my mother’s strength during that time did for me. It may not seem like it right now, but you’ll all be okay.

  • Sarah

    I am crying. I don’t know you or your family- I found your blog today via pinterest. Words can’t describe how sorry I am… and how proud of your resilience. Thank you for sharing your story. You’ll be in my prayers tonight.

  • Sugar

    I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. I have been with my husband since we were 13 so I can’t imagine the pain and loss you are feeling. I will keep you in my prayers.
    Love and sympathy,
    Sugar

  • Mark

    Jennie,
    I just found your blog through a post at Not Without Salt. I wasnt to offer my heart felt condolences for the loss of your husband. I will not pretend to understand your loss or pain, but having recently lost my marriage to the love of my life that I had known for 13 years to alcoholism, I can at least see from here what you are dealing with. Please know that there are those of us you don’t know that are keeping you in our prayers.
    Mark

  • Ellie

    Jennie, My name is Ellie and I don’t even know you–I am so sorry for your loss. All I can think of when I read your writings is that they are lovely; beautifully written. You have a gift and I hope that you will sometime put your words on paper and write a book, perhaps of your memories. My thoughts are with you and your daughters.

  • Lori Narlock

    Dear Jennie,
    You and your daughters are in my thoughts today and will be for a long time. I hope this Sunday brings moments of joy in memories of your husband and moments of peace in your grief of losing him.
    Lori Narlock

  • Lori Narlock

    Jennie,
    I just posted a comment earlier and misspelled your name. My apologies. I wasn’t paying attention in the midst of all of this. I read your story yesterday and have since read many of your posts. I know about grief. Yesterday was the 15th anniversary of then 30-year-old brother being hit and killed on his bike. Three years later my father passed away suddenly–on his bike. While there no doubt were medical explanations, I’m sure it was a broken heart. Those days are hard. I feel your “Sunday” pain. It takes strength to persevere as you know from losing your father. Your girls are lucky, like me, to have had a wonderful father. Reading your posts I’m certain you will keep his memory alive and for that they are also lucky. As I wrote earlier all of you will be in my thoughts.
    Sincerely, Lori

  • Tanvi

    Jennie, I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I am so sad that something as devastating as the loss of your husband brought me to your blog, but I wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you and your children. I wish you peace, strength, and courage for the future.

  • Terry

    It is so hard to piece it all back together……its like existing on another plane while the whole world moves around you unaware of what has happened and how special he was….the void slowly fills but never completely. The line of life before and after will blur at times.
    Beware of the days that it will take you by surprise and try to drag you back to the darkness and desolation.
    It hurts so much because you experienced the love that so few ever ever experience in their lives. You will make the sun come up by sheer will…….laugh as much as you can guilt free

  • Shelly Mines

    When I am gone, release me, let me go.
    I have so many things to see and do,
    You mustn’t tie yourself to me with too many tears,
    But be thankful we had so many good years.
    I gave you my love, and you can only guess
    How much you’ve given me in happiness.
    I thank you for the love that you have shown,
    But now it is time I traveled on alone.
    So grieve for me a while, if grieve you must
    Then let your grief be comforted by trust
    That it is only for a while that we must part,
    So treasure the memories within your heart.
    I won’t be far away for life goes on.
    And if you need me, call and I will come.
    Though you can’t see or touch me, I will be near
    And if you listen with your heart, you’ll hear
    All my love around you soft and clear
    And then, when you come this way alone,
    I’ll greet you with a smile and A “Welcome Home”.